Products

 It ain't easy being sleazy... but I manage.

Designed by LinerPoster

It felt really appropriate for Bad News Wares to have this Bad News design, so, uh, we got it! Let everyone know that you're bad news, too.

Designed by Dr. Wolfenberegen.

Not sure what your friend or weird cousin wants? Let them pick! All gift cards are totally digital and never expire so they can't hurt the planet or your feelings. Add whatever amount you want to your cart, check out, and we will send you a lovely little code for them to use whenever!

Bottoms and tops, we all hate cops.

I mean, just read the shirt.

These shirts are hand screen printed locally on 100% preshrunk, unisex, cotton ringer tees. As they are hand done, each ringer is unique.

*Note! Bad News Wares also recognizes switches, vers, and aces! We just loved this classic rhyme.

PREORDERS SHIP MID TO LATE JULY. We will update you when they arrive and ship!

Do you have charisma? Uniqueness? Nerve? Talent? This is the pin for you!! Let everyone know what a C.U.N.T. you are.

This circular pin is 1” and has a rubber backing.

Designed by Gaypin'

I know, personally, that the people I have chosen to surround myself with and call family have gotten me through some dark times. This is for them, and for making sure everyone knows that you can chose your family. 

They say “blood is thicker than water,” but that’s not the whole phrase: “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” The people we form bonds with, the people we choose, those connections mean far more than the arbitrary fact that you were birthed by someone you had no choice in being connected to. You deserve respect, happiness, and support, and if your assigned family can’t provide these things, please know that you can find people who do unconditionally love you.

This pin is 1.2” and has a rubber backing.

Designed by Gaypin'

Well well well. If it isn't earrings that were inspired by your own silly behavior. Our Clowning Around earrings are lightweight, adorable, and let everyone know that you're an absolute joke!

These are post earrings that measure 2 inches from top to bottom.

Earring posts made of 100% metal alloy.

Just like a "Drive Now, Pay Later" car sales event, you can ALSO Cry Now, Cry Later!! Yes, theydies and gentlethems, it's true! It applies to far more than just automobiles! For the low, low cost of just your own self esteem, you too can weep at any time! At work? Sitting on the subway? Meeting your partner's family for the first time? Those are all times where you can be crying! Remind yourself, and others, of this incredible opportunity by wearing this shirt.

Designed by Bobby Pins Co

Fasten this necklace to your head support piece and then live your best life. These ones are cute and kind of look like you might know what the planets are doing to people emotions right now. Just do not put this on, cut your own hair into microbangs, and then blame us when you don’t look like Grimes.

These necklaces are chokers with lil moons and stars on them. The chain is made of zinc alloy. Below that hangs a pendant of either genuine rose quartz, genuine lapis lazuli, or genuine opalite.

Sorry, I can't hear you! I'm dissociating.

Desperately trying to carry on a conversation but your brain is free range astral projecting? Let people know you are not being rude with our Dissociating Tee. 

Design by planet.bridget

 

Barbie is moving up in the 2020 world and dreaming of a dumpster. But in this economy? I think not.

The stickers are about 3” by 2" and they’re holographic!

Designed by pinkyrhombus.

***If you order just patches or stickers we send them to you in a lovely little envelope. This is for ease and for the environment!***

This business was born out of Dumb Bitch Juice. We positively guzzle it.

They’re holographic, and 2” x 3”.

Designed by pinkyrhombus.

***If you order just patches or stickers we send them to you in a lovely little envelope. This is for ease and for the environment!***

Remember Britney Spears' Dump Him shirt? Back in 2002? For 2020, we've redesigned it to normalize inclusivity.

TW: Abusive Relationships

We made this shirt because we have watched many people in our lives suffer through abusive relationships, and have been through abuse ourselves. Abuse comes in many forms. Attached here is a link to the Power and Control Wheel, a resource that helps identify some of the behaviors that exist in toxic relationships.We know that it is not often as easy as, "Dump Him," or "Dump Them," due to finances, children, threats, and a myriad of other complications. The National Domestic Violence Hotline offers help to plan a safe exit here. If you need to talk to someone, you can talk online to a trained advocate here.

These are screen printed on 100% preshrunk cotton unisex shirts.

Designed by pinkyrhombus, inspired by the Britney Spears' Dump Him shirt.

"Are you a top or a bottom?" ... "My therapist says I'm dysfunctional in any role."

This ringer shirt is 100% cotton and made in the USA.

Design by puppyteeth.

 

Have you been looking for a sign? Well, here it is! Your fortune is clear: Eat out more! Don’t be afraid to really dive right in there and go to town, just remember to get clear consent in the form of a “yes,” not just the absence of a “no.” 

This pin is 1.3” and has a rubber backing.

Designed by Gaypin'

Finally somewhere to keep it all! This canvas bag holds all your junk and is perfect for the beach, the gym, an overnighter, or when you need to just say heck it and run away from it all.

This duffel bag is barrel shaped, made of 12 oz cotton canvas (that just means it is lightweight but durable) and has a little pocket on the front for easy access to your favorite items. The specific dimensions are 9" x 19" x 9".

Ride this bummer forever! It's time to let everyone know that you may be bummed but you're one hell of a ride. 

This heather gray crewneck sweatshirt is super soft, features checkered sleeve prints, and is 100% cotton!

Designed by pinkyrhombus.

 

Is there a god? And, if so, should they answer for their crimes? We get it. Throw a few punches in for us. 

This is our new and improved shirt- the softest vintage cut seafoam green shirt with the perfect 90s colored design.

These embroidered flower socks are so dope. Let them peek out of whatever pair of shoes you're wearing for added flair! Or just wear them with your sandals. Why the hell not?

You guys loved our Barbie Dream Dumpster sticker so much, you kept putting it on your cars and bikes! We made it easy for you and made this FOOT LONG holographic bumper sticker 💖

This sticker is 12” long and 8” tall. It’s vinyl. It’s shiny. And it’s weatherproof.

*La Croix for scale. It does not come with a La Croix. They’re carbonated and do not ship well. 

Honestly, we just love girls. We're releasing this in honor of International Women's Day and want to use this moment to remind you that if your feminism isn’t intersectional, then it is worthless. Not all inequality is equal! And guess what! Transwomen are women! If you do not agree with that statement, then we don't want your money.

Here's to ALL of the girls.

Designed by pinkyrhombus

This is a blended shirt, 90% cotton and 10% polyester for that soft, soft, sinfully blended fabric feel. (Please see Leviticus 19:19 for context.)

Each shirt is handprinted locally so please allow for the tiniest bit of variance between garments.

Guys, they’re heart shaped sunglasses. I don’t know what else to say to you.

These bold glasses are the perfect summer accessory. Slap them onto your face and enjoy either a classic black lens, or some pretty in pink rose colored glasses.

We love San Junipero, that episode of Black Mirror where the girls fall in love? Its 80s, its gay, it makes us cry... This scrunchie has those futuristic, but still 80s, vibes that we adore. We cannot guarantee that you will get a sweet forever wife when you wear this scrunchie in your hair, but at least you'll look adorable.